Searching

I find that I am searching. Searching for something. I think it is peace, stress free days, not worrying about mundane stuff.
I sometimes wonder what I would do if we won the lottery. Would I be stress free then? No money worries, no wondering about the economy and the possiblities of jobs not being there.
I am not sure that is the answer to everything. I know that ultimately my search for peace is met by God. That is the only way I can truly experience it. I've been reading and reaffirming my faith lately. Knowing that I am not alone in this world is the most comforting thing I've ever felt.
I picked up medical records for Mike from his neurologist's office on Monday. Reading those really brought back our ordeal three years ago. I knew then that he would be O.K. I had the strength that I could only get from God. Those times are a blur when I try to think about everything that went on. It is almost surreal...like it didn't happen to us. Yet, I know it did.
I still need God. I still need His strength and love. Everyday. I need this to keep going.
I read some of my Nana's poetry recently. I love how her words are so joyous and in praising God she found her joy and peace. That is how I want to find mine as well.